Lets do a quick week 2 post mortem before we get into rivalry week.
Pat vs Richburg
Pats team keeps on rolling. Kyler Murray is the best quarterback in fantasy. Matthew Stafford is in love with Cooper Kupp. Even with the rest of his stars putting up middling performances, 65 points from 2 players is usually going to net you a win.
Richburg’s team well… it’s a mess. Josh Allen’s regression in both fantasy and real life is the topic of analysts across the nation. Zeke is splitting carries with tony pollard and averaging 3.7 ypc on the carries he does get. Allen Robinson is still waiting on a quarterback to feed him. This team would get the HELP button of the week award but somebody else needs it more.
Tripp Vs Parker
This matchup should’ve been exciting. The two prior champions facing off. A chance to prove that they are still relevant. Unfortunately, Both these teams have roster holes as big as the Kimberley diamond mine (it’s a big hole, trust me, I googled big holes and this is the one).
Tripp’s team needs a receiver, any receiver. Tripp’s starting receiver slots were filled by players who should be on the waiver wire. He has some talent everywhere else. Jalen hurts is good in fantasy if not in real life. Chubb and Harris are quality running backs on 2 high scoring AFC North offenses. George kittle should be fine on a weekly basis. But, there’s no way Tripp continues to find wins without a semblance of a receiving core.
For Parker, well he needs Christian McCaffrey to be Christian McCaffrey. The Titans passing game is dead. Outside of one 70 yard garbage time run, Melvin Gordon has 60 yards through 2 games. What looked like a plethora of wide receivers after last week looks to be a one man show featuring DJ Moore. Basically Parker needs Christian McCaffrey to carry this team and not get injured.
*editors note: Christian McCaffrey is injured
Corey vs Mike
Corey I’m not quite sure how you get to 140 points with your running backs combine for only 11, but you keep finding ways to win. This game was a candidate for shootout of the week at points and Mike will feel hard done by his schedule this week.
Corey has to be hopeful seeing Rodgers get back on track putting an absolute beatdown on the bad, bad, oh so bad Lions. Elsewhere, Corey’s receivers came through big time combining for over 70 points. He wont get a combined 28 points from his Defense and kicker on a weekly basis, but he’s 2-0 and his team took a massive step forward.
Mike, well unfortunately I’ve got to add someone else to the meme.
Darrell Henderson was starting to get a grove with the rams but has found himself injured once again. This team is going to need to have running backs produce to win games. The Tampa Bay friendship strategy is showing a little more life as both Evans and Godwin put up quality weeks. And in a bold move, Mike opted for the double TE strategy and it paid off. Hockenson is the number 1 target in Detroit and they are going to be down a lot. Mike has won the garbage time lottery but he will need other players to step up for it to matter.
Richie vs Chandler
The team I respect the least vs the owner I respect the least. Luckily the better man won. Richie don’t get too comfortable with me appreciating you though it is hate week.
Richie’s team has 1 rushing touchdown through 2 weeks, it came from Juju Smith Schuster. Like many in the league, Richie has running back problems. What’s not a problem though is his QB play. Tom Brady is playing like it’s 2004 or 2008 or 2015 or 2020 or any of the years in between. Tom is loving life in Tampa and Richie is loving life with Tom.
Chandler’s team is… okay, like not great but it should be okay. Lamar is good, Eckler is good, Tyreek is good. I wouldn’t live my life with Kareem Hunt as my RB 2 but I don’t judge others life choices. Robert Woods is off to a super slow start but the rams have run the fewest offensive plays in the NFL so I have a feeling he will be fine. Chandler is not going to make the playoffs but he wont be the pushover he’s been in the past.
Chip Vs JW
JW’s team is good, mine is not. Can we leave it at that? No? Fine.
JW has Patrick Mahomes. In case you’ve been in a bunker the last 3 years, Mahomes is good at football. Dalvin Cook and Chris Carson form an extremely formidable RB duo. JW will need to find a couple of answers at wide receiver as Jarvis Landry went down injured after scoring just 1.4 points.
My HELP button team of the week goes to…..Me! This team is bad. I said last week that I needed my cowboys to combine for 60 points a week to compete and well they didn’t. My best players are Marvin Jones, Ty’son Williams, Hollywood Brown and Devin Singletary. Oh I didn’t draft any of those players in the first 7 rounds. That bodes poorly for the rest of the season.
Sam vs Wilburn
I saved the best for last. This game was an absolute shootout. Sam’s team was the second highest scorer this week and this game wasn’t particularly close.
For Derrick Henry’s team, it’s all about Wilburn. Did I get that backwards? I don’t think so. This is Derrick Henrys team and it will live and die by him. 237 total yards and three touchdowns will win most teams a week. But, Wilburn’s team wasn’t done there. Brandin Cooks continues to make thrive in a bad situation, Keenan Allen continues to make corners look foolish and Adam Thielen continues to find the endzone. It also helps when your defense and kicker combine for 32 points. I don’t think this is repeatable for Ryan but lets be honest how many 160 point performances are.
Well, maybe one is. Sam puts up 145 after putting up 166 last week and does it in a completely different way. Green Bay got back on track though Aaron Jones and his 4 total TDs. The Seahawks are still cooking at an outrageously efficient pace as Russ found Lockett for 50 combined points on only 31 passing attempts. This team is flat out good and I don’t think anyone wants to see them up next on their schedule.
Now to the fun stuff cause its hate week.
Hate Week Rivalries
Rivalry Weeks were introduced in 2018 and were the greatest thing to come out of the league since the bull ride. There is deep seeded animosity between (most) of theses opponents and hate weeks are some of the most enjoyable of the season. The only thing comparable to these rivalries are college football rivalries.
Pat Vs Corey or Princeton Vs Rutgers
The Oldest Football Rivalry in the World. The founder of the league and the first founding member. Princeton and Rutgers played the first intercollegiate football game in 1869. Neither have mattered for championships in the past 70 years. This rivalry is the only one in the league without a champion.
These two are as even as it comes in heads up battles. 3 games a piece in the rivalry era but Corey does hold the edge by 1 game in the long by gone pre-rivalry era. Since neither one can win a championship its unsurprising that there are 0 playoff meetings between the two teams. Even though they are essentially irrelevant their rivalry started the league and for that we are all appreciative.
Chip Vs Richie Notre Dame Vs USC (Sr)
The only other rivalry that dates back to season 1. It has history, it has prestige, but mostly it’s mostly meaningless in the modern era. With 5 combined playoff appearances in the Pre-Rivalry era, these two teams were lined up to be the marquee matchup of every rivalry week. Now these two toil away trying to beat each other while the rest of the league grows beyond them.
This rivalry was born in the playoffs of those early years as Chip knocked out Richie in the semifinals twice in three seasons. The overall record stands at 8-3, but two of Richie’s three wins have come in the playoff deciding weeks of the last two seasons. Like Notre Dame, Chip is a title holder. Unlike USC, Richie is not. Fuck you Richie.
Wilburn Vs Richburg or Ole Miss Vs Miss St
For the life of me I could not find a quality rivalry where 1 team held a losing record in the rivalry but had won a national title while the other had not. So, we went to these Mississippi boys roots. Wilburn was a founding member of the league. Richburg just missed the cut of making this an original group of 10 rivalry by joining in year two. Of course, Richburg went on to win the title his first year in the league. Wilburn is 0 for 6 in the title department. As roommates and competitors who have been out of the championship picture in the Rivalry Era, this matchup, like the Egg Bowl, is mostly about territorial pride.
Wilburn holds a 5-3 lifetime advantage in matchups. It’s 4-2 in the Rivalry Era.
Mike Vs Parker or Michigan Vs Ohio State
These former roommates are highly competitive both vs each other and the rest of the league. Both of these teams have made the playoff in each of the previous two seasons and their week 12 matchups have often been a deciding factor for playoff seeding. An original Group of 10 member, Mike was a leading voice to add Parker to the league unaware that he’d eventually have to see his friend team twice a season.
This rivalry is all tied up in regular season record with both teams notching three wins. But, Parker notched a win in the most important game of this rivalry. Parker knocked Mike out of the playoffs on his way to a title last season.
Sam and Chandler or Alabama Vs Tennessee (Recently)
Some may call this rivalry a friendship, some say there’s no heat to this rivalry, some may even say it’s a rivalry with benefits. There is no less antagonistic rivalry in the league than Sam vs Chandler. One is the only 2 time title holder. The other is a perineal bottom dweller. This matchup is so lopsided that there are complaints Sam gets a competitive advantage by getting to play Chandler twice a year. There are rumors that the bottom dweller might even role over and play possum to the benefit of the champion. Whatever people may say, there’s no doubt that the winner by knockout in this rivalry is Sam Lee.
The overall record is not as bad as you might expect as Chandler has managed to find 2 wins in 6 appearances including a win in week 12 (with assistance) to keep Sam out of the playoffs last year.
JW vs Tripp or Clemson Vs Florida State
Though not geographically natural rivals, this ACC rivalry grew due to the high spirit of competition between the two teams. Tripp and JW’s rivalry may not be the most natural in the league but it is certainly contentious. Tripp’s restraint to refrain from using cum in his shit talking this week is appreciated by the league. JW final pre-rivalry era manager added while Tripp is a rivalry era addition. This rivalry may be new and it may be tenuous but the tension between these two on rivalry week is palpable.
Tripp holds the all time record over JW 4-2. He also holds the only title in the rivalry. Though both have been in the same playoffs, they have yet to meet for a playoff rivalry game.
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